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He then invited one of his managers to give the first part of the presentation. One of the men next to me stood up and made his way to the top of the table and started talking; and it was at this point, of course, that the lovely Ursula entered with a word of apology about delays on the tube, and slid into the nearest available seat, which was the one just vacated next to me.There was nothing I could do. I tried to concentrate on the presentation, which was on the reassuringly unsexy subject of tailoring insurance products to meet the specific needs of the construction business, but I knew it would be no good. Everything seemed to conspire to make me aware of Ursula's closeness. I could smell her perfume. My eye was caught by the toss of her head as she flicked the hair out of her face. Even the way she turned the page of her notebook seemed charged with sensuality. And I could hear her respiration; it was heavier than usual because she was out of breath after hurrying to get to the. Only lasted for a couple of seconds but it was like it lasted forever. I pulled myself away from him. Straight away I’m thinking: oh fuck. What have I done? Why did I go and do that? This could be the end of our beautiful friendship now. This changes everything. I couldn’t look my mate in the face. I just stood there looking at the ground. “There. I’ve done it now. Now you know how I feel about you.” I wouldn’t have done it if I was sober and now I wish I hadn’t done it. I waited for him to say something. He didn’t say nothing. I thought: fuck, that’s it. I’ve ruined everything. Our friendship was over. I wish I hadn’t kissed him now but I’d done it and there was fuck all I could do about it. I managed to look at him. “I’m sorry, mate. I shouldn’t have done that.” He wasn’t saying nothing. I’m thinking: say something. Anything. Tell me that you don’t want to see me ever again and tell me to fuck off. Just say something. Then I thought: pretend it was just a joke. Yeah. Coz I didn’t.
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